Excerpts From
by novemberthird
Summary: Excerpts from jily/marauder era centered fanfic stories that popped into my head, but have no real plot to base a story on. Little drabbles. 12/17/17: now marked as complete, all others will be posted as oneshots.
1. Bitter Love

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter including James, Lily, or Sirius. I'll be posting these on my tumblr—or trying to—everyday until the third of November (Sirius Birthday) in honor of Sirius and Jilytober.

I have not given up on Before He Lived, but I do have a bunch of essays to write which means it's still a Work in Progress. I do have an AU that will be posted a few days from now (it's written, I just have to type and revise it).

My Tumblr for this account is siriuslysnuffles if you're interested in following me. It's a secondary blog, so I can't actually follow any of you (sorry?)

—

(seventh year)

 _'You love him?' he asked her in disbelief._

 _'Yes,' her eyes held the tears of regret she'd been feeling since the night before._

 _'Does he know?'_

 _'No,' she laughed bitterly. 'I don't think he'd care at this point.'_

 _'He loves you too,' the boy admitted, 'he just might not realise it yet.'_

 _'I'm not sure he does, Sirius.' Her voice held a certain vulnerability that had once been saved for another dark-haired boy. 'And that might break me.'_

 _'James loves you, Lily,' he said with a tone of finality. 'You just have to show him you love him too.'_

—

AN: Feel free to send me request for these in replies or in the asks on siriuslysnuffles (my ff tumblr). Feed back appreciated.


	2. Good Enough

Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter or Marauders Era related.

I'm siriuslysnuffles on tumblr and will be uploading an excerpt all of October and the first few days of November.

–

(seventh year)

' _It's always going to be him, isn't it?'_

 _'No, you're just always going to think it is.'_

 _'How can I not when you always take his side–even now when you supposedly let him go. You never even asked my side of things, you just assumed it was my fault.' The ebony-haired boy scoffed, his eyes beginning to water in a way that shook the redhead. 'It's always my fault, isn't it?'_

 _'James,' she begged–a dark feeling setting into the pit of her stomach, the same stomach in which butterflies had claimed for themselves for the boy standing in front of her._

 _'I'm done, I can't keep doing this to myself.' His eyes took her in for perhaps the last time. 'I can't keep thinking I'm not good enough for you.'_

 _'Please–' she begged once more._

 _'Goodbye, Evans,' he said before walking away from her._

 _–_

AN: feel free to submit jily prompts, etc in the reviews or on the ask on my tumblr. Until tomorrow.


	3. Broken Promises

Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor its characters.

–

(alternate universe, hallowe'en nineteen eighty-six)

 _'You promised,' she cried. 'You promised you'd always be here, but how could you leave me? How could you leave us?'_

 _She let tears fall down her face as she watched the tombstone, saw the reminder of what she had lost five years to the date. 'Harry deserved a father to teach him Quidditch and take him to his first game. Harry never really liked it when I made smoke come out my wand the way you did. I caught him snuggling with Godric and your cloak the other day. He's been asking about you more and more, he's six now, James–six and three-months today.'_

 _Her sobs could be heard through the empty cemetery, 'He likes looking at your old pictures. He idolises you–I had to use a shrinking charm on your old Quidditch robes for him to wear.' Her laugh would have painful to anyone listening, 'I love you, James, until the very end.'_

–

AN: not sure how I feel about this one. Again these are on my tumblr (siriuslysnuffles), until tomorrow. Give me feedback please.


	4. Prophecies

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my Harry Potter books and the laptop I'm writing this on.

(september third, nineteen-eighty)

 _Harry sat on his father's lap, smiling and grasping onto James' robes with his tiny finger in such a manner which usually had James and Lily adoring him. He was only a month-old, one-month-old and fated to die._

 _'Are you sure,' was Lily's response as her fingers curled into her son's little tuft of black hair so much like his father's that Lily wanted to cry in agony at the unfairness of it all; he couldn't die, he was their son, their hope and their joy in this war. He was theirs and no one would take him away from her as long as she lived.. 'He's only one-month-old, how can he be a threat? Merlin, he can't even crawl yet much less defeat Voldemort.'_

 _James tightened his hold on Harry, bouncing him slightly causing his son to emit a satisfied sound. James felt his eyes begin to water and turned to look at his wife who looked like she just wanted to wake up from this nightmare._

' _I'm sorry,' Dumbledore said._

AN: I just noticed I gave James no lines, but he's in shock so *shrugs.* I hoped you liked it, it's also on my tumblr (siriuslysnuffles), and the next one will hopefully be less depressing.


	5. Secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

–

(easter break, seventh year)

 _They lied next to each other on James' bed–legs tangled together, arms touching, Lily's head rested on his chest, snuggling into it more as the light began to shine in through the windows._

 _James began to stir at the feeling of her against him. His fingers went instantly to her hair, letting them run through the slightly tangled locks. He heard her let out a soft, blissful sigh._

 _'You awake, love?' he asked her softly, continuing to stroke her hair comfortingly, sending butterflies that never quite went away to her stomach._

 _'No,' she replied stubbornly, wrapping her arms around his stomach. He chuckled before kissing her forehead lovingly, then her cheeks, her nose, and the spot behind her ear that always caused her to emit a small whimper._

 _'You sure?' His voice had turned slightly husky at the sound._

 _'I want to sleep, Jam–' he caught her lips in a kiss._

 _'Do you really? I can think of a few things I'd rather be doing, primarily with my lips.'_

 _She laughed, lazily shoving him away, 'Tell me a secret then.' Her lips came up next to his ear, 'You'd still be using your lips.'_

 _He chuckled before turning serious for a moment, 'You want to know a secret?'_

 _'You're not an escaped convict, are you?' she teased._

 _'Not escaped, no.'_

 _She laughed happily, 'Tell me your secret.'_

 _'I love you,' the words escaped his lips clumsily._

 _Tell me you love me, his eyes seemed to say._

 _'I love you too.' And she meant it._

–

AN: A bit longer than the rest, I hope you like this less angsty Jily fic. Tomorrow's has to do with either jealous James or jealous Lily, I have yet to decide. Reviews appreciated.


	6. Jealous, Evans?

Disclaimer: I only own Annalisse Reynolds everything else is JKR's.

(early november nineteen seventy-seven, gryffindor tower)

 _She wasn't jealous. Or she told herself she wasn't was more accurate. She had never been the jealous type of girl, but watching James, her James–or her something really–talking to Annalisse Reynolds caused a reaction that Lily wasn't proud of._

' _Jealous, Evans,' she heard Sirius' voice whisper in her ears._

' _How does James even know Annalisse?' she asked him, irritation creeping into her voice._

' _Didn't you know?' His voice was smug. While she normally got on with Sirius very well, at the moment she desired nothing but to send a very deadly hex at his very beautiful face._

' _If I knew I wouldn't be asking, now would I?'_

' _They dated, once in fourth year, once in fifth.' His smug smile turn into a frown, 'Never really liked her.'_

' _How come?' This caused a giddiness in Lily. Sirius, she knew, approved of her for his best mate, and Sirius Black was a very hard man to please when it came to the topic of James Potter._

' _She was the first girl James seriously took an interest in, she threatened the dynamic.' He shrugged, 'She never liked me either, always had these stupid remarks.'_

 _She nodded, but her attention returned to the pair who were shamelessly flirting. 'Does he fancy her?'_

 _Sirius chuckled, 'No, James is just a big flirt when he's a bit tipsy. Didn't he almost propose to you when you came over this summer?'_

 _She groaned at the reminder, 'Yes,' a small smile crept up on her face, 'But you were the one who got him drunk.'_

' _Who needs to be sober anyway, what's the fun in that?' He took another drink of his firewhisky._

 _He managed to make Lily giggle, 'Oh, yes, sobriety is so boring, you can only properly function as a human being.'_

' _Look who's jealous now?' Sirius motioned toward the two people heading towards them._

' _Oh no,' she moaned, resting her head on Sirius' shoulder._

' _He looks upset.' Sirius whispered, petting her head gently. 'We do look rather much like a couple.' He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her._

 _Lily burst out laughing, attempting to stifle her laughter in his neck, 'No, no, no…you and me…no.'_

' _Way to let a guy down gently, Evans.' He teased, pulling on a piece of her hair._

' _Padfoot, look who I found!' James shouted over the sound of those near them, despite them being perfectly able to hear him even with the ruckus._

' _Who?' Sirius sighed as his eyes landed on Annalisse._

' _It's Annalisse. You remember Annalisse, right?' His eyes purposely avoided Lily's._

' _Of course, how've you been, Reynolds?' He cocked an eyebrow at her and leant back against the wall, clearly telling James that he could care less about Annalisse._

' _Good, Black, still causing trouble, I presume?' It was clear to tell that only one of them was drunk and it wasn't her._

' _Of course,' he winked at Lily before turning back to Annalisse, 'How about you and I go dance?'_

' _I don't really fancy you, Black,' she said taking James' hand in hers as the drunk boy in question glared at a spot behind them._

' _Don't really care, Reynolds,' he said as he took her hand in his and away from James._

' _You're being rude, you know,' Lily told him._

' _Do you fancy him?' James asked, his eyes still on the wall._

' _Do I fancy who, James,' she sighed as she walked towards him._

' _Sirius, do you fancy him?' his voice sounded pained. Lily would have cared more if he wasn't an idiot._

' _No,' her tone came out more irritated than intended. 'How about Annalisse? Do you fancy her?'_

' _Does it matter?'_

' _Maybe it does.' Her voice came out more vulnerable as he took a step closer to her. 'You're drunk.'_

' _Just tipsy,' he mumbled as he took one step closer. 'Are you jealous?'_

 _His eyes watched hers as she nodded her head slowly, 'Yeah, I am.' She watched as his eyes met hers, 'Are you?'_

' _Yeah. Just a bit.' They both chuckled nervously. 'Hey, Lil?'_

' _Hmm..?'_

' _Can I kiss you?'_

' _Will you remember kissing me tomorrow?' He was so close, she thought, so close._

' _Yeah, I'll remember.'_

' _Okay,' she said as his fingers gently slid into her hair. His lips gently touched her as she let her hands rest on his shoulders. The kiss was short and sweet, the kind you expect of your very first kiss. She let herself kiss him again, gently and slowly. She thought she heard Sirius shouting at them to get a room (he was), but at the moment she didn't care–James Potter could do that to a girl._

 _He broke it off first, 'Fancy getting a drink with me in Hogsmeade sometime?' There was a goofy grin on his face which Lily suspected wasn't all from the firewhisky._

 _Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, 'There isn't another one until next month.'_

' _You're forgetting who you're talking to, love.'_

' _I expect you to be on time.' He let his head snuggle into her neck and let out a sound of agreement. 'And you're not allowed to flirt with other girls.'_

' _Are you still going to snuggle with Padfoot?'_

' _He's a good snuggler.' She protested._

' _I'm better.'_

' _I guess we'll have to see.' But there was a grin on her face that said she would definitely stop snuggling with Sirius Black if James Potter was taking his place._

 _–_

AN: Sorry for the delay, I have no wifi at home and usually do these at school. Anyway, the next one is written out and just needs to be typed and edited, so it should be up within an hour.


	7. Harry

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the dialogue

(late march nineteen eighty-one, godric's hollow)

 _He watched his nine-month-old son as he crawled after the cat in yet another attempt to grasp its tail._

' _Har,' he called gently towards his son, laughing as Harry finally managed to get the cat's tail within his tiny fingers. Harry looked up towards the sound he recognized as his father's voice. 'What have I told you about being nice to Godric? Don't you remember how much it hurt last time the kitty scratched you?' The infant tilted his head, not quite understanding what his father meant (not that James expected him to). The cat, in the meantime, walked away with the pride only a cat (and perhaps fifteen and sixteen-year-old James Potter and Sirius Black) could._

 _James picked up his pride and joy from the ground, 'Want to have a chat, Harry?' James asked the small child as he bounced him up and down on his lap._

' _Mama,' Harry said instead, his little fist raised._

' _Mummy's asleep, love,' James cooed softly, placing a small kiss on his head._

' _Mama,' he repeated._

' _Not helping my ego there, buddy,' he tickled his son affectionately, giving him little kisses on his face as his son squealed._

' _Your ego doesn't need the help,' Lily's voice was soft as she descended the stairs, 'we might not be able to get your head through the bedroom door if we reinflate it.'_

 _He chuckled and couldn't help but notice the way Harry's eyes seemed to sparkle at the sound of his mother's voice (not that he blamed him, James was sure his did too)._

' _Mama,' Harry said for the third time that morning._

' _Lil,' James sighed as he placed Harry in his wife's awaiting arms, 'Your son cannot stand to be with me today. I think the cat's been conspiring against me after I accidentally stepped on him the other day.'_

 _She giggled in the way that always had James' heart fluttering. 'He's just hungry, James' she said as she began unbuttoning her (his) shirt. Harry seemed to agree as he immediately began latching himself onto his mother who blushed at the intense look her husband sent her. 'Stop that,' he heard her mumble._

' _Why?' he asked her as he ran his fingers through her red hair, 'I'm admiring you.'_

 _She laughed, 'I look like a mess.'_

' _A beautiful mess,' he corrected her._

 _They conversed while their beautiful baby boy continued to feed. Once he was done Harry insisted on being returned to his father._

' _Let's continue our chat, yeah?' Harry cuddled into his father who thought his heart would explode with love every time his son did this._

' _Once there was a beautiful redhead and an amazing Quidditch player'–'toerag,' Lily supplied–'who despite every obstacle, fell in love. It's a beautiful story, Harry, I hope I can share it with you one day.' Lily cuddled into him too, letting her hands wrap around his waist. 'The Quidditch player was an idiot around the pretty girl, and she told him so. His heart would beat faster and his brain would work slower. You can't imagine the dumb things that would escape the boy's mouth just by looking at the girl's pretty eyes. Merlin, she had pretty eyes–still does._

' _But one day the pretty girl kissed him. One day she told him she fancied him. One day she told him she loved him, and he loved her too–more than anything. One day he asked her to marry him, and for some reason she said yes'–'it's because I love you, you prat,' he gave her a brief kiss on the head–'and they got married. One day she told him she was pregnant, a little baby was in her tummy, Har, and the boy was going to be a dad. He felt like his heart would stop because he was only nineteen, but he knew that that he would do anything for the child and for his wife. He would go into hiding, he would die if that's what it took. He loves them both so much.'_

' _James,' tears streamed down his Lily's face as she placed small kisses on his skin._

' _I love you, Lil.' He leant down to kiss her lips gently, then placed a gentle kiss on their sleeping son's forehead. Little did the father know that six months later he would fulfill that promise._

–

AN: last chapters was the longest, but this one is pretty long in comparison to the others. So which one is your favorite? I'll try getting the one I was supposed to do today up tonight or tomorrow morning.


	8. Magic

Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing. *sigh*

—

(alternate universe; christmas break, nineteen seventy-seven)

 _James wasn't an idiot, he really wasn't—despite what Sirius said. He also knew what he was doing was wrong, and that dating a Muggle would get him into serious trouble at this point in the war—but he wanted to be selfish if it meant he could keep seeing her pretty eyes and her pretty hair and feeling like he just won a million galleons._

 _'When do I get to meet the bird?' Sirius asked as he watched James get ready in his best Muggle clothes._

 _'Not yet, we're not even officially together seeing as we're still at Hogwarts,' he sighed and turned around. 'Mum and Dad want to meet her too, but they don't know she's a Muggle—not that they'll care.' He ruffled his hair anxiously. 'She doesn't know what we are, Padfoot, what if she runs off?'_

 _Sirius rolled his eyes, 'She won't run off,' James eyed him skeptically. 'If she's as cool as you say she is, she won't.'_

 _'Do you think I should ask her to date me?' He blurted out before falling onto his bed._

 _'If you want. Although, I think Rosalind Fortescue will be highly disappointed.' James' scrunched up._

 _'I don't fancy her. I fancy Lily.' A goofy grin appeared on his face, 'She asked me to come over to her house today, says her parents want to meet the guy she's been spending all her time with.'_

 _'You sure you're not dating?'_

 _'Not yet.'_

 _'Are you going to tell her about us, about the Wizarding World?'_

 _'Yes, tonight.' James stood up, 'I need to get going.'_

 _'Good luck, mate.'_

 _'Thanks.' And with that he apparated._

 _—_

 _'You're early,' she said opening the door, her cheeks covered in flour. James thought she looked utterly adorable._

 _'Yeah,' he blushed slightly, 'I thought it'd be best if I wasn't late to meet your parents.'_

 _'Mum and dad aren't back yet,' she said as she let him pass. 'I was just baking cookies.'_

 _'So you weren't snogging a flour monster?'_

 _'Unfortunately, no,' he laughed before pressing a kiss to her cheek. She blushed and took his hand. 'Fancy a beverage?'_

 _'Do you have any of that drink we had last time?'_

 _'You mean the fizzy drink?'_

 _'Yeah, that.'_

 _Lily laughed, 'Yes, we have some. Don't you have fizzy drinks in Scotland?' Her back was turned to him as she pulled out a bottle from the Muggle device. He took this moment to take in the beauty that was Lily Evans. Her dark red haired fell past her shoulder in beautiful curls and she wore a pretty yellow dress that went down to her knees—that James was sure would kill him at any moment._

 _'Probably, I don't get out much. We're only allowed to visit the village a few times a year.' He looked her up once more, 'You look lovely, you know.'_

 _'Thank you,' she said as she handed him his beverage, 'and I'm sure you follow all the rules at your posh school.'_

 _'It's not posh.' He protested._

 _'You sound very posh.' Her eyes were teasing him, daring him to argue as they had in the coffee shop where they had first met._

 _He kissed her when she leant across the table. Her hands coming to rest on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her until they practically lied on top of it._

 _'Can't you do that elsewhere, Lily?' A voice came from the behind them. Lily pushed James away, blush staining her pale cheeks once more._

 _'Sorry,' she said as her sister rolled her eyes at her behaviour. 'Petunia, this is James. James, this is Petunia.'_

 _'Delighted,' he said, standing to shake her hand. She noticed the boy's messy hair and gave her sister an exasperated look._

 _'Likewise,' she reluctantly said before moving past him._

 _'Don't mind her, she rather likes the neat kind of boys.' Lily said as she wrapped her arms around him._

 _'S'fine,' he couldn't concentrate with her so close. He took in a deep breath, inhaling the smell that surrounded him day and night._

 _—_

 _After dinner Lily insisted on taking a walk outside with James in the Muggle world—not that she knew the difference._

 _'A boy who lives down the street from my house asked me out last week,' Lily suddenly said, interrupting a modified story he'd been telling her._

 _'Oh,' he said, stopping and letting go of her hand. He looked down at her, his voice nervous, 'what did you tell him?'_

 _'That I wished the boy I fancied and have been talking to since this past summer would get the courage to ask me out.'_

 _'Was that a yes or a no?' James stupidly remarked._

 _'You're an idiot, Potter,' she laughed bitterly. 'Are you embarrassed that I'm not from some posh school up North or do you just want a fling or do you just not want to date me?' She sounded more vulnerable than he had ever heard the confident girl. 'I need to know.'_

 _'I fancy you a lot, Lil,' James cupped her face in his hands. 'I do, and I would be delighted to have you as my girlfriend, but I haven't been the most honest person with you.'_

 _'Do you have another girlfriend?'_

 _'No, nothing like that.'_

 _'What is it? Are you not really posh?' Her teasing subsided his nerves a bit._

 _'Come with me?' He dragged her off to a deserted park he had seen while she protested the entire time. 'Do you trust me?'_

 _'Yes,' she answered immediately._

 _'And you think I'm mostly sane?' She grinned, 'Mostly.'_

 _'I'm a wizard, Lil.'_

 _Her eyes furrowed, 'What?'_

 _'I'm a wizard. I got to a school in Scotland where I learn spells not where I learn whatever it is that Muggle schooling does.'_

 _'Muggle?'_

 _'It means you're not of magical lineage.' He looked at her anxiously._

 _Finally she asked, 'So you can do card tricks and turn princes into frogs?'_

 _His smiled slightly, 'I'm a bit better than that. I can turn into a stag—although, I did it illegally.'_

 _'Wizards have laws?'_

 _'We have our own government.'_

 _'Do you have a fancy stick?'_

 _'Merlin, it'a called a wand.'_

 _Her lips twitched, 'Do something with your wand?' Her voice sounded suggestive causing him to laugh._

 _'Perhaps later, love.' He took out his actual wand and grabbed a rock from the ground and turned it into a pretty white flower. 'For you,' he said tucking it behind her ear._

 _'I'm not yet convinced,' she said confidently despite her red cheeks, 'show me the deer trick.'_

 _'It's not a trick, it's magic.'_

 _'Fine, show me magic.'_

 _He grinned and let his mind concentrate on becoming the stag. When he opened his eyes, he saw the pretty redhead looking at him with shock and fascination. Her eyes captivated the deer. The pretty girl was petting him, lovingly. 'You're cute as a deer, ever consider making the change permanent,' she cooed. He nuzzled into her hand, letting himself be content._

 _They stayed there for the moment, oblivious to the world around them. 'Can you change back?' The deer didn't understand at first, until the James part of his mind caught on and did as the girl desired._

 _'So you're a deer?'_

 _'Stag, to be specific.'_

 _'Well, now I can't show you Bambi.'_

 _He tilted his head slightly, 'Bambi?'_

 _'Forget it.' She laughed, 'My boyfriend's a deer.' He liked the way she said boyfriend. 'And let's not forget a wizard.'_

 _'I'm rather impressive, aren't I?'_

 _She giggled, looking up into his face, 'An impressive idiot perhaps.' She wrapped her arms around him, 'But I still somehow fancy you.'_

 _'Yeah?' He look down at her, tightening his hold on her._

 _'Yeah,' she confirmed, giving a soft kiss to his chest._

 _And right there he fell a little bit in love. Because even if she wasn't magical by blood, she made him feel like he was riding his broomstick higher than he's ever done before._

—

AN: thoughts on Muggle Lily? So this is officially the longest one at over a thousand.


	9. Oblivious Dorks

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, not Harry Potter and not 'Strings' by Shawn Mendes which inspired this.**

(alternate universe)

 _He was three-years-old the first time he met her. She was beautiful even then with her hair going down her back in gentle waves._

 _'I'm James.' He introduced himself with all the courage he dared._

 _'I'm Lily.' The girl said as she watched a blonde girl approaching them._

 _'How old are you?' He eyed the blonde as well, not entirely sure she wouldn't take away the pretty girl._

 _'Three.' Her toothy grin had a fluttery feeling forming in his stomach._

 _'Me too.' He said as the blonde finally reached them, eyeing the boy's messy hair._

 _'We're leaving,' her sister demanded. Lily stood up watching the black-haired boy pout. Lily decided she liked the boy, he seemed nice._

 _'Will you be here tomorrow?' She pushed a strand of red hair behind her ear, awaiting the boy's response._

 _'Will you?' His eyes were trained on her, attempting to memorise every part of her._

 _'Yes.'_

 _–_

 _She met him at the park the next day, his hair as messy as ever. His legs were swinging as he pushed himself on the swings._

 _'Hello,' he said as she made to sit beside him._

 _'Hello.'_

 _'Where's the other girl–your sister?'_

 _'Petunia didn't want to come with today.'_

 _'She doesn't like me, does she?' His voice wasn't accusatory, just a fact he had no particular feelings on._

 _'Tuney likes rules, she likes everything neat and organized.' She paused for a moment, 'She thinks your hair is too messy and looks like a bird's nest.'_

 _The boy chuckled, 'My mum says that a lot. Do you think so too?'_

 _Her reply was immediate, 'Yes,' she leant over to grab a piece with her fingers, 'but it's nice, it's fluffy.'_

 _'Your hair's red, I've never seen anyone with red hair before.' He saw her blush slightly, 'it's pretty,' he added despite his better judgement._

 _'Want to come over to my house? My mum's making cookies.' His voice was hopeful._

 _She thought it over for a minute, knowing her mum wouldn't approve of her going over to a stranger's house, but she didn't think the boy looked dangerous. 'Okay.'_

 _–_

 _James was happy when Lily came over again to his house, although he knew she shouldn't be walking by herself to see him, the park was farther from her house than it was his and she had to pass it to get to his. But he made her promise as she stepped inside that she'd tell him when she planned to come over so he could come for her._

 _'You worry too much.' She said before taking his hand tight in his and leading him to the kitchen to greet his parents._

 _'Hello Mr and Mrs Potter,' she announced, hands still clasped with their son's._

 _'Hello, Lily, I didn't know you were coming over.' Mr Potter greeted her, smiling at their intertwined hands. He gave his wife a knowing look as she yet unboxed yet another box. 'Did you want anything to drink, love?' Her smile was genuine and warm and reminded Lily of James'._

 _'No, thank you, I just wanted to come visit James. My mum wanted to know if you would all have dinner at our house tomorrow, she wants to meet James.' The pair watched as their son seemed to be captivated by the little redhead, being uncharacteristically quiet._

 _'James, would you like that?' His mother asked._

 _'Yeah, that'd be fun.' She smiled her toothy smile and in that moment he fell in love._

 _–_

 _They were five the first time they kissed._

 _They had been playing a game of chase when one of the six-year-old boys said he wanted to kiss her. Lily didn't understand because only mummies and daddies kissed, her mummy told her that you could only kiss someone you loved._

 _'Oi, what do you think you're doing,' she heard James' voice yell at the boy who had her cornered and whose face was centimeters away from hers._

 _'I want to kiss her,' the boy said in a matter-of-fact tone, his eyes drifting back to hers as James shoved him, much to all their surprise._

 _'No,' was James reply as he stood in front of Lily, blocking him. Lily noticed the way in which James fingers came together into a fist._

 _'No?' the boy asked, shoving James who in turn bumped into Lily._

 _'No,' the hazel-eyed boy said, his voice didn't sound like her James'._

 _'Then you kiss her.'_

 _This shocked both James and Lily, they were best friends and best friends certainly didn't kiss–or did they?_

 _'Fine,' James tuned towards her, taking her small face between his hands and placing a small kiss onto her lips, so soft and hesitant that had her senses not gone on overdrive, she would not have felt it. Yet she did, and she felt herself falling in love._

 _Seconds later, he pulled away. He looked into her green eyes and a blush rose to his cheeks._

 _Young Bertram Aubrey ran away and began to tell anyone that would listen that James had kissed a girl._

 _'Are you all right?' James asked her, avoiding her eyes._

 _'Yeah.'_

 _'Okay.'_

 _—_

 _'You'll be gone the whole summer?' She asked asked him as they lied on his bed, their hands touching._

 _The seven-year-old boy looked at her sadly, 'Yes, my grandfather is sick. Dad wants to be with him.' He grabbed her fingers in his, 'He lives in Wales, and I'll send you a postcard every week.'_

 _'And you won't forget about me?' Her vulnerability was written all over her face and he just have seen it._

 _'You're my best friend, Lil.' He gave her hand a quick squeeze, 'I'll never forget about you.'_

 _'Promise?'_

 _'I promise, you're my best friend. Of course I won't.'_

 _—_

 _'The bed's getting too small you know,' she said as she rested her head on his shoulder._

 _'Nah, you're just getting big,' he said as he poked her stomach._

 _'You're the big one, not me,' she shoved him, causing him to pout and turn around to face her._

 _'But you still love me,' he teased as he snuggled his head into her collarbone._

 _'Only mummies and daddies can love each other.'_

 _'That's not true, you love your sister, right?'_

 _'But that's different, we're related.'_

 _'You can love people in different ways, I love you like I love mum and dad or my cat.'_

 _'That's gross, Jamie.'_

 _He laughed at her, 'Come play football with me, yeah?' He said as he jumped off his bed in search of his ball._

 _'Only if you promise not to cheat.'_

 _He faked indignation, 'I don't cheat.'_

 _'Liar,' he heard her laugh, a laugh which made his inside warm._

 _–_

 _They were eleven now, and Lily didn't like that James had other friends–boy friends who got muddy and were loud and took him away from her all the time._

 _'You can always come with when we go play football or when I go over to one of their houses, they won't mind.'_

 _'Sirius doesn't like me,' she protested._

 _'It's nothing personal, he just doesn't think boys should hang out with girls. If you hung out with us more then maybe he'll like you more.'_

 _She tried once to do so when James went over to Remus' house when he was feeling too sick to go out. Peter and Remus were perfectly nice to her, Sirius was the one making snide remarks with his stupid mouth while James tried to play peacemaker between them._

 _That was the last time he made the suggestion, he had to drift between the boys and Lily–although more frequently than not he hung out with the boys._

 _She came home crying one day after a fight with him about always deciding to hang out with stupid Black who continued to be a jerk to her._

 _'You always take his side in everything, James,' she had sighed, 'sometimes I don't even think we're friends anymore.'_

 _He seemed hurt by her statement, 'Maybe we're not.'_

 _'Fine,' she grabbed her bag and left._

 _He apologized for being a jerk, but things between them were bad for a while. But they were best friends, and best friends forgive each other._

 _They were thirteen now and what a complicated age it could be._

 _'I can't believe you kissed Hazel Blake. I didn't even know you fancied her.' Lily let her eyes look up at his._

 _'I don't, not really.' James ruffled his hair nervously,_

 _'Then why did you kiss her?'_

 _'I was curious, Sirius kissed Maire Devin last week, and he was bugging me for not ever snogging a girl.'_

 _'You're thirteen what does he expect, you to put your tongue in every girl's mouth.'_

 _James laughed which sent a fluttering feeling to blossom in Lily's stomach. 'No, I suspect not.' He changed the topic, 'Are you coming to watch me play this weekend?'_

 _'I wouldn't miss it for the world.'_

 _At fifteen a realisation struck one of them._

 _It was the day before one of James' big football games while Peter, Remus, and Sirius sat in the stands while the bespectacled boy and the redhead girl played a game of one to one._

 _'Go, Evans,' Sirius cheered._

 _'I liked it better when you didn't like her!' James screamed._

 _'Don't be rude, Jamie.' She laughed as she managed to make a goal in past him, 'And here I thought you were good at football.'_

 _'Oy, I am good, I'm just going easy on you, love.'_

 _'How kind of you,' she teased._

 _'You know me, always being generous.'_

 _She giggle as she kicked the ball, teasing him with it. 'Come on, Evans, you can't always be so lucky.'_

 _She grinned at him and did the last thing he expected; she threw herself into his arms, knocking them both to the ground. Having managed to grasp the ball in her, she threw it into the goalpost._

 _'This is not American football, Lil,' James began about to lecture her on the ethics in sports, but he looked up at her laughing face and the urge to kiss the girl in front of her pulled at him. He never realised quite how beautiful his best friend had become until that moment._

 _But he couldn't fancy her, she was his best friend._

 _He gently pushed her off him, 'You're a cheat, Lil,' he said, his voice cracking in the process._

 _She looked at him weirdly. 'Right. Well, as much fun as this was I did promise April I would go over to help her study. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?'_

 _'Tomorrow?' his eyebrows furrowed._

 _'To walk to school together, the way we always do.' Her confused smile was cute, and James hated that he thought that about her._

 _She gave a brief wave to their friends before getting smaller and smaller and disappearing._

 _'Bloody hell,' he screamed when he thought she would no longer hear him. The sound alerted his friends who had started approaching._

 _'What's the matter, Prongs?' Sirius asked concerned._

 _'I think I might–I think I fancy her?' he managed to get out._

 _'Lily?' Remus asked to clarify._

 _'Yes,' James responded quietly._

 _Peter looked at him confused. 'I thought you already knew that,' the chubby boy said._

 _James turned on him, 'You knew!'_

 _'We all did, we just assumed you knew too.'_

 _'You all knew, and none of you bothered to tell me?' He sounded like he was about to start hyperventilating. 'Why?'_

 _'Again, we thought you knew?' Sirius said exasperated. 'I'm surprised she doesn't know.'_

 _'Not why didn't you tell me, why her? Out of any girl I could have fancied it had to be Lily.' He laughed bitterly at the irony._

 _'She is quite fit,' Sirius said._

 _'Really smart too,' Remus added._

 _'And she's nice to everyone,' Peter put in._

 _'Oh, and she loves football,' Sirius smirked at this one, 'We all know how important that is to you.'_

 _'Not the time, Padfoot.' He sank to the ground, 'What am I going to do?'_

 _'Tell her,' Sirius shrugged._

 _'She's my best mate, Padfoot. I've known her since I was three. I can't fancy her.'_

 _'Why not?' Peter asked._

 _'It would ruin everything.'_

 _So he went out with Annalisse Reynolds instead, pretending he didn't secretly harbour feelings for his best girl mate. He let his jealousy get out of hand at times, glaring at any boy whose eyes lingered too much on her, threatening any guy who dared hurt her._

 _'You're not my dad,' Lily would laugh._

 _'Well, I'm just letting any guy who dares hurt you know that have me to answer to answer to.'_

 _'My hero,' she teased._

 _That was until three months before Lily's seventeenth when she began dating Adam Mumps who was one of the guys on James' football team._

 _'He's going to break your heart, Lil.' He warned her after punching her boyfriend in the face for talking about her in the locker room the way you'd talk about a girl in a tavern. Not that Lily knew what had happened to her boyfriend's face._

 _'The way you broke Annalisse Reynolds'.' She said harshly._

 _'That's different, I didn't care for her the way you should for a girlfriend. I didn't feel butterflies or miss seeing her. If I had let that go on any longer, it would have been cruel. But Adam Mumps has a reputation of breaking girls' hearts. Do you really want to be his next victim?'_

 _'He's just misunderstood, James, he's a nice guy.'_

 _'I'm not going to watch you get your heart broken by him, Lily.' He said before walking off, not turning to see the heartbroken expression on Lily's face._

 _–_

 _They barely spoke for two months, and it broke both of them. James meant what he said, however, he didn't want to see her brokenhearted. He knew Adam Mumps, and he knew he'd break Lily's heart._

 _'You're just jealous, Prongs.' Sirius said one day._

 _'It's not about me being jealous, Padfoot. You and I both know his reputation with girls. A few good snogs, a few good shags, then he breaks up with them. I don't want that to be Lily.'_

 _'He's only shagged Naomi Evermonde and Ruth Morville as far as I know.'_

 _'And he broke up with them as soon as he was done with his fun.' He sighed, 'He's going to make a game out of her.'_

 _'I don't think Lily will fall for it, she's smarter than that,' Peter spoke up._

 _'Not talking to her isn't going to fix anything, James,' Remus said softly._

 _'At least I don't have to watch it happening.'_

 _'She misses you,' Sirius sounded annoyed. 'You're hurting her.'_

 _'I'm hurt too.'_

 _–_

 _'I'm shagging her tonight,' he heard Adam Mumps tell the rest of the football team as they were about to go in and change. It took all his restraint not to attack him right there._

 _One of Adam's mates laughed as his eyes drifted to the girl they spoke of, 'Evans really is fit, isn't she? Do you think she'll actually shag you though?'_

 _'Of course, she's a bit of a tease. I bought her this necklace she might like, thought that might do to seal the deal. All I have to do is tell her I love her, and she'll throw herself right at me.'_

 _'Do you love her?' One of them asked._

 _'Of course not, she's a fun time.' At those words, James sprinted to catch up to him and shoved him, causing the other boy falling to the ground._

 _'What's wrong, Potter?' Adam's smug smile pissed James off even more. 'Jealous?'_

 _James aimed another punch at him causing the other boy to respond. They both aimed punches anywhere they could._

 _'Stop it, James, Adam, please.' He heard the pretty girl's plea, and he almost gave in until he remembered the boy's proclamation._

 _'Stay out of it, Lily.' He bit out harshly._

 _'James, please,' she said, her hand on his shoulder that caused him to tense. He sighed before getting of Adam. 'What happened?'_

 _'Potter attacked me for no reason, I was just talking about how much fun we were going to have on our date tonight, Lilybug,' Adam sucked up._

 _'James?' Her words begged for his attention, any response that said they could go back to how things were._

 _'Have fun shagging,' was all he said causing tears to appear in the girl's eyes. Not that James saw as he went to go change with more bruises on his skin than when he began the day._

 _–_

 _A month later, rumours had begun all over school about what happened the previous day. About what James had feared._

 _'Did you hear Adam Mumps and Anna Lestrange were caught shagging in one of the cupboards?'_

 _'What about Evans?'_

 _'I heard she's the one who caught them.'_

 _The rumours had begun all over school with no Lily to be found._

 _–_

 _James stopped Remus before English, 'Look, I'm going over to her house, cover for me, yeah?'_

 _There was a slight smirk on Remus' face, 'What happened to not wanting to see her hurt?'_

 _'She's still my best mate,' he sighed. 'Even when I'm upset with her.'_

 _'I'll let McGonagall know you have the stomach flu.'_

 _'Thanks, mate.' He made sure to avoid passing McGonagall's classroom as he snuck out of school and walked over to the Evanses._

 _–_

 _Mrs Evans opened the door as James ruffled his already messy hair, 'James?'_

 _'Hello, is Lily in?' He was nervous._

 _'Aren't you supposed to be in class?'_

 _'I, unfortunately, have the stomach flu and decided to check up on my dear friend.' His slight smirk gave him away._

 _Mrs Evans moved away from the door, 'Come in.'_

 _He was serious again, 'How is she?'_

 _'I don't know, she won't talked to me.' Her blue eyes looked into James' hazel ones. 'What happened?'_

 _James scowled, 'Her boyfriend's a prick.'_

 _'Oh,' she said understanding his meaning before motioning for him to go upstairs._

 _He turned the door before quietly going into her room. 'I don't want to talk about it,' she mumbled into her pillow._

 _'Fine, we won't.'_

 _His voice shocked her, 'James?' she asked as she turned around._

 _'But he's a bloody prick,' he added as he approached her bed._

 _'You said you wouldn't be here if he broke my heart.' Her eyes were red with tears._

 _'We both should've known I was lying.' He lied down on her bed and wrapped an arm around her, 'We both know I wouldn't leave you to cry while that stupid prick is probably smug right now.'_

 _She snuggled into him causing both of their hearts to beat faster. 'Thank you.'_

 _'So, tell me,' he smirked, 'what did you do to the prat?'_

 _'Well,' she began, 'if, by chance, he can't grace us with his offsprings, I may or may not be responsible.'_

 _–_

 _'Hey, James,' she asked as she saw him drifting off to sleep. Two weeks had past since the accident, and James and Lily continued to snuggled together in either her room or his. She would hold his hand when they were alone or kiss his cheek in public. She would glare at girls who made moves on James in her presence and would flirt with him at every moment._

 _However, James Fleamont Potter is an oblivious dork._

 _'Hmm…' She giggled at his response before poking his side, 'Pay attention to me.'_

 _'Always, love,' he turned on his side. 'What is it?'_

 _She bit her lip self-consciously which immediately shifted James' attention–not that she minded at the moment._

 _She took a deep breath, 'Can I kiss you?'_

 _His attention once more shifted, this time to look into her eyes._

 _'I–err–what?'_

 _She laughed half-heartedly, 'Can I kiss you?'_

 _'I–why?'_

 _She felt her cheeks blush and the feeling in her stomach sink. 'Nevermind,' she mumbled before turning away. Not letting him see the tears that had begun to form. 'Maybe I should go.'_

 _He sounded confused as he said her name and turning her to face him. It was in the second he examined her face that he made a decision._

 _He kissed her. Gently and hesitantly at first, but once he felt her kiss him back his kiss turned rougher, like he had waited his whole life for this–which was only half-true._

 _They didn't know how long they lied there kissing, but Lily had somehow ended up on top of him with James hands drawing circles on her stomach causing Lily to make whimpering noises that drove James crazy._

 _He pushed her off of him gently._

 _'I don't know how much more obvious I can be, James, but I fancy you.'_

 _'Fuck,' he said before kissing her again._

 _–_

 _And that's the story of two kids who fell in love. Two kids who got married and watched as their children repeated the same cycle of falling in love. Because if there is one universal truth about James and Lily Potter, it is that they were very much in love._

 _–_

 **AN: review maybe? They make me happy. Sorry there hasn't been one for a while, but post will be in frequent for the remainder of these (like 25 left?) because school is tight at the moment, and I also want to continue the next chapter for 'Before He Lived' and see if I can post it by Halloween (next week).**

 **I hope you enjoyed it.**

 **OH! I also posted a story yesterday (or maybe it was Sunday?) called Injuries and Prats if you want to check it out.**


	10. nah, she didn't

**Disclaimer: I own my laptop. That's it.**

–

(seventh year)

 _everyone thought she hated him. yet no one noticed the half-smiles she would send his way, the almost laughs, the appreciative looks. no one but_ _ **him**_ _._

' _severus,' she breath as she quite literally ran into her former friend._

' _lily,' he said, taking her in as if she would disappear the next second—which she wanted to._

' _i have to go,' she made to push past her former friend only to be called back by him._

' _off to meet_ _ **potter**_ _,' he said james' name with a sneer, 'are we?'_

' _as a matter of fact, yes,' she stood her ground. she was not about to let severus shame her for hanging around her friends—and a potential more than friend. 'not that it concerns you who i associate myself with._ _she couldn't help but add rather coldly, '_ _but do say hello to mulciber and avery for me.'_

' _lily,' it was a plea. 'you hated him, you hated potter as much as i did.' he wanted it to be true; but how could it be, she thought._

' _no, i didn't.' she sighed, 'you just wished i did.'_

—

 _and as always, james potter was an oblivious idiot._

 _while james did not believe she hated him, he remained firm in his belief that lily evans only desired friendship._

' _she's a mate, padfoot.'_

' _mates don't lie their heads in another mate's lap and let them stroke their hair as they fall asleep.' sirius saw a blush appear on james' cheeks. 'that was once, i was tired.'_

 _sirius let out a dog-like laugh. 'right. mates.'_

—

' _you fancy him.' snape's accusation filled the empty corridor. she had to stop running into him._

 _she pretended to be oblivious of what he was referring to, 'who do i fancy?'_

' _potter. you fancy james potter, that prat.'_

 _lily sighed, 'he's not much of a prat.' that wasn't the denial snape was hoping for._

' _you're not even going to deny it?' he was hurt that she didn't even want to deny it, that she wasn't ashamed of her feelings for potter._

' _no,' she let out a small smile, 'i do fancy him.'_

' _you said he was a toerag,' another accusation._

' _yes, i did. and he was–still is really.' she dared to laugh, 'but i still fancy him.' she turned to walk away._

' _why him?' his voice cracked, 'why potter?'_

' _i don't know.' and with that she was gone._

—

' _hey, james,' she said as they sat next to each other on his bed doing paperwork._

' _yeah?' his voice was tired, his glasses lopsided, and his ropes wrinkled—he never looked better to her._

' _do you fancy a drink?'_

' _a bit. reckon padfoot would get us some if i asked?' he looked so innocent as he said it. james potter was a sort of innocent that no one expected from a seventeen-year-old, not from the type of guy they were slowly falling in love with. yet it was his childlike innocent that lily adored._

' _no, not now, you prat,' he tilted his head at her._

' _then why did you ask?' confusion looked good on him. his eyes looked into her, trying to understand what he considered another puzzle in a language boys thought only girls understood._

 _so instead of explaining it to him, she kissed him. a little kiss on the lips that left little to interpretation. yet the moron pulled away, adjusting his glasses._

' _I don't understand.' perhaps she wasn't obvious enough._

' _i fancy you.'_

 _his mouth opened and closed for a moment before a childlike grin erupted on his face._

 _it took a moment before he cupped her face and kissed her the way she imagined a kiss with james potter would be._

—

 _because she never hated the dork. even if he was a bit of a prat._

–

 **AN: the style was deliberate, lowercase just looked nice.**


	11. hallowe'en dorks

**Disclaimer: I own my notebooks and index cards where I keep these ideas. I also own the character of April. That's all.**

–

(alternate universe, hallowe'en)

 _it was hallowe'en night. and no one would believe how much of a dork james potter really was unless you saw him in person. this year he was attempting to pull off being a vampire with a fake cape and a pair of fangs, too bad his glasses made him look like a complete dork–too bad she found him too cute to be put off by it._

 _she watched as he made a fool of himself dancing with sirius black, as if they were in the seventies. she laughed at the boy as her friend april gave her a look that told lily that her attraction for the bespectacled dork had not gone without notice._

' _he's cute, why don't you go talk to him?' she pushed one of her blonde plaits away as they were bumped into by yet another drunk guy._

' _the sad thing is i've been watching him, and he hasn't even taken a drink of alcohol. he's doing all this while sober, april.'_

 _april giggled, 'we'll at least he won't try to grope you like some of the other football players in our year did.`_

 _lily wrinkled her nose, 'does he go to our school then?'_

 _april rolled her eyes at her friend who was once more sneaking glances at the boy. too bad she missed him casting glances at her. 'he's in our english class, lil.' april laughed, 'don't tell me you've never noticed him checking you out?'_

' _are you sure?'_

' _he sits with peter pettigrew and remus lupin. although, it's not that surprising you don't notice him, i suppose. he tends to sleep in half our lessons, not that professor binns cares.'_

' _come on,' little red riding hood grabbed goldilocks by the arm and led her to a vampire, a wolf, a pumpkin, and sirius black._

' _what are you supposed to be,' april asked sirius._

' _myself, of course,' he smirked before continuing, 'i couldn't think of anything more awesome than yours truly.'_

' _he means scarier,' the pumpkin supplied._

' _dreadful,' the wolf added._

' _they mean he's a lazy git,' the handsome vampire supplied, this resulted in him being hit by sirius._

' _count dracula?' lily asked._

' _i'm too handsome to be dracula, i'm count james,' his smirk was both arrogant and adorable._

' _dork,' sirius coughed into his hands._

' _we match,' lily said to the wolf._

 _the boy chuckled, 'i wouldn't say we matched,' he said, 'so how is your grandmother?'_

' _not in the stomach of a wolf.'_

' _pity,' he sighed, she laughed._

 _james watched them and whispered something to sirius' as the pumpkin she began to recognise as peter pettigrew chatted away with april. sirius and count james seemed to be arguing about something._

' _Is james single?' she found herself asking remus._

' _extremely,' the boy said with a smile that said he knew something she didn't._

' _hey, moony, go talk to james, he's being stubborn,' remus rolled his eyes as he saw james glaring at sirius._

' _what did you do to him?' remus asked exasperated._

' _talked.'_

' _that usually does it,' he murmured._

' _shut it,' sirius turned to her, 'dance with me, red.'_

' _do i have a choice?' she asked as he dragged her away from their group._

 _he placed his hand on her hips as she placed her hands on his shoulders. 'if you even think about groping me, you will regret it,' she warned._

' _are you single,' he asked abruptly._

 _her eyes widened, 'what?'_

' _are you single?'_

' _you're not really my type, no offence.'_

 _sirius let out a barking laugh, 'not for me, red.' he let out another laugh, 'merlin, you're not my type.'_

' _i'll try not to be offended,' she mumbled. 'yes,' she said softly, 'i am single.'_

' _what a coincidence, so is james.' she giggled, seeing where this was going. 'is he now,' she asked despite already knowing the answer._

' _and he thinks you're rather pretty.'_

' _really,' she blushed._

' _and i won't lie, he's a big dork, and he'll drive you completely mad, but he'd make a good boyfriend.'_

' _interesting,' she said as she saw james approach._

' _i'm sorry if he's being an idiot,' james interrupted, a blush coating his cheeks. 'sirius,' james warned._

' _i'm going,' he rolled his eyes. 'it was nice meeting you, red.'_

 _she laughed, 'it was interesting.'_

 _lily waited for sirius to be out of earshot before speaking, 'will you dance with me?'_

 _he looked like a deer caught in headlights but quickly agreed._

' _my name's lily, by the way, not red.' she said as she placed her head on his shoulder._

' _i know, we have english together.'_

' _so i've heard.' he laughed._

 _and that's how she ended up kissing the big dork ten minutes later after he accidentally spilled his drink on her. that's how she ended up pinned against a cupboard door half an hour later when he tried to ask her out on a date and ended up being shoved into her, accidentally groping her in the process. after all, there was worse things she could be doing then kissing a handsome boy who wore fake fangs and couldn't ask her out properly if his life depended on it._

–

 **Also whenever I say football, it means soccer, not the american football.**

 **Read, review, and Happy Hallowe'en.**


	12. hallowe'en

**disclaimer: me. own. nada.**

–

(hallowe'en, nineteen sixty-seven)

 _when lily was seven, she was a witch. she wore a pointed hat, and her parents bought her a magic wand like the one in fairytales. when she was seven, she carved pumpkins with her dad while petunia dressed up as a ballerina and helped their mum bake pastries in the kitchen. when she was seven, their dad took them out to collect candy from their neighbours, and despite living in cokeworths they managed to get a decent amount of sweets—petunia gave lily the ones she didn't like, and lily gave petunia the ones she knew were her favourites. when she seven, she was in love with hallowe'en._

 _when james was seven, he was an only child. he dressed up as his dad who was his hero—why should the muggle children be the only ones who can dress up, he had argued this day and night much to his parents' amusement. when he was seven, he rode his broom, crashing around every surface of his home because he knew no matter what, he wouldn't get in trouble. not when his parents felt guilty he wasn't allowed to celebrate today with the muggles. when he was seven, he wore his father's glasses—not having a pair of his own. not yet. when he was seven, he wished for a brother._

 _when lily was eleven, she experienced a hogwarts hallowe'en, and it was brilliant. she fell in love with hallowe'en again. because now. now she was really a witch. she had a real wand and wore robes. but she didn't have petunia. she had severus. and severus was her best friend. but she also had april who severus said couldn't be her best friends because you can only have one of those. when she was eleven, all she wanted was more sweets and her life would be perfect—and her parents had promised to send her some. so life was perfect._

 _when james was eleven, he had three great friends. he no longer felt the loneliness of being an only child because they were everywhere. he couldn't so much as go to the loo without sirius or remus or peter by his side, and it was brilliant—although, if he really wanted to disappear he could always use the cloak. james felt a bit sad for feeling so happy, remus looked sick again. it would be the third time in just as many months._

 _when lily was fifteen, she was worried for severus. he had begun to spend more time with his new mates. he didn't seem to take any of lily's warnings to heart. all he seemed to care about was what james potter and his friends were up to. she thought that the holiday was getting to him. he was convinced remus lupin was a werewolf, but he couldn't be. he was just sick. extremely sick. when she was fifteen, she thought james potter looked quite fit, even if he was trying to pull off being a vampire. not that she would ever tell him that. or severus. because no matter how fit he was, he was still a jerk to sev._

 _when james was fifteen, he very much fancied lily evans. lily evans who always looked like christmas. lily evans who had a laugh that sent him walking into walls. lily evans who he couldn't stop thinking about. lily evans who his friends were beginning to notice his crush on. when he was fifteen, he was trying to be an animagus for his best friend, his best friend who was finally starting to look better from his furry little problem after over a week of recovery. when he was fifteen, he swore that he wouldn't stop until he helped his friend._

 _when lily was seventeen, she was no longer in love with hallowe'en. but she was fairly certainly she was beginning to fall in love with james potter. james potter who kissed like he'd never get the chance to again. james potter who couldn't stay still if his life depended on it. james potter who always kissed her temple. or her face. or her neck. or her lips. or anything he could get his lips on. james potter. yes, she was very much in love with the hazel-eyes prat. and she didn't regret a thing._

 _when he was seventeen, he fell head first in love with a redheaded goddess. but she wasn't perfect. she was stubborn and had a temper to match her hair. she was his one and only though. when he was seventeen, he kissed the redhead in a cupboard before they had to part for their respective classes. when he was seventeen, sirius dragged him away from his love as she giggled into her hands at being caught by his best mate. when she was seventeen, he snuck her into hogsmeade for a date, which ended up being crashed by his–their–friends. but he wouldn't change it for the world._

 _when she was nineteen, she kissed every surface she could reach. she thanked merlin he was safe. when she was nineteen, she was too happy that he was safe and that she hadn't lost him to think. when she was nineteen, she moaned into his mouth as he pinned her to their bed. when she was nineteen, she had just escaped voldemort for the first time–she had now twice defied him. rejecting his offer was the first. she wasn't scared to die, but she preferred to live quite a long time by her husband's side._

 _when he was nineteen, he hated her for not running once he yelled for her to go. he hated the selflessness that would get her killed. he hated that people wanted to hurt her for being a muggle-born. for being something that made james love her more everyday. when he was nineteen, he claimed every bit of skin his wife had to offer as she voiced her approval._

 _when she was twenty, she was a mother. three months with harry. when she was twenty, she watched as james carved a pumpkin as she held a sleeping baby in her arms. nothing would hurt him with her here. when she twenty, she spent the day cuddling with her husband and son. she gave them both kisses as they looked at her with their beautiful eyes–one pair green, one hazel. when she was twenty, she vowed to protect them with her life._

 _when he was twenty, he was a father. a father. he was a father, and he promised to not let them down. he made his wife breakfast as she fed their son. he held his son as she took a shower. he told his son the story of how his parents fell in love. he reminded his son of how much he loved him. and he did the same with his wife, reminding her she was the love of his life._

 _when she was twenty-one, she heard her husband drop dead. when she was twenty-one, she had woken up with hope in heart of seeing another day. days she would get no more of. when she was twenty-one, she protected her son. when she was twenty-one, she knew she couldn't do it without james, but she also knew she wouldn't let voldemort win. she would die before she did. and died she did. when she was twenty-one, she was robbed of her last 'i love you,' of her last kiss, of her true love._

 _when he was twenty-one, he woke up and dressed his son as a pumpkin to make his wife laugh. when he was twenty-one, he found out who the traitor was. when he was twenty-one, he looked into the green light that was the same shade as the pair of eyes of his two loves. when he was twenty-one, he whispered his final goodbyes–to his wife, to his son, to his brother, to remus, and even one for peter. he said hello to his parents and hers._

 _when she was twenty-one, she didn't want to live in a world without james potter._

 _when he was twenty-one, he died in hopes that they would live._

–

 **an: happy last minutes of hallowe'en, or happy dia de los muertos (day of the dead, actual thing on november first). enjoy and cry. read and review maybe? i'm siriuslysnuffles on tumblr by the way.**


	13. azkaban

**Disclaimer: i own my sadness over sirius being both fictional and death. nothing else. i also don't own the quotes prior to the last three asterisks* (which belong to JK Rowling's** _ **Prisoner of Azkaban**_ **) in the story.**

 **Ironically enough, happy Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos, which is in fact a Mexican holiday that according to google started yesterday (Hallowe'en) and ends tomorrow (the second of November). It's a day where we basically celebrate our dead. Again, irony.**

 **Enjoy maybe crying.**

–

(hallowe'en, nineteen eighty-one)

 _it was hallowe'en night when he had told peter he would come and make sure he was safe. they were friends after all, friends who were supposed to take care of each other. he was naïve. naïve to think that the pressure wouldn't get to peter. naïve to think that the war wouldn't change any of them._ _naïve to trust anyone else with the people he loved the most in the world. naïve._

–

 _he arrived at peter's small house, which had been placed under wards to keep muggles away. the house that had spells placed on it to keep him safe, it wasn't exactly the fidelius charm, but it would hold. he arrived at nine at night when peter should have been home. he had assured sirius that he would be home. and sirius had no reason not to believe him. if he had only looked close enough. if he had only seen that peter wasn't strong enough for this war. maybe they would still be here._

 _there were no lights on, but sirius didn't find it suspicious at the time, not at first. after all, peter had begun to become very paranoid. oh, he should have known._

 _he grabbed the spare key from under the mat. he unlocked the door. it didn't feel right. he frantically began to search the small house, shouting peter's name as he did so. he quickly became scared at the lack of response._

 _his voice cracked as he shouted, 'oi, you git, this isn't funny.' no response._

 _he checked the last room in the house and came up empty. peter was gone._

 _the house showed no sign of struggles, and while it was possible peter had gone to his mother's house, sirius wasn't so sure. his gut told him it was something else. something worse._

 _he rushed out his house and onto his motorbike. he headed for godric's hollow. he headed to where he hoped to find his family._

 _but when got there, he saw hagrid exiting the cottage with a small bundle in his arms, and he knew._ _ **he**_ _ **knew**_ _. because sirius knew his two best mates more than anything in the world. he knew the lily that would have her baby by her side as she baked biscuits and worked on her potions. he knew the lily that would baby her son when the cat accidentally scratched him. he knew the james that fussed over harry day and night the first time the little one sneezed. he knew the james that cried the first time harry was sick with a fever. he knew the couple who held each other tight after every battle, scared that they would lose the other. he knew the couple that would never leave their child to someone else with a lightning-shaped cut on his forehead. he knew they were dead, but he didn't have to believe it. not yet._

 _he got off his motorbike and jogged the distance to the giant.* 'where are they?' he asked, even if he already knew the answer. he saw the pity in hagrid's eyes. he didn't want pity, he wanted them alive._

' _james an' lily are dead, sirius.'_

 _dead. they're dead._

 _he heard hagrid as he tried to comfort him, but he didn't understand a single word. how could he? they were dead._

 _he felt as hagrid place a giant hand on his shoulder. 'give harry to me, hagrid, i'm his godfather, i'll look after him.'*_

' _i have orders from dumbledore…' he couldn't understand what had been argued afterwards, all he knew was that harry was being taken away from him too._

 _he accepted this. after all, where he was going was not a place for harry. not when all he could think about was hurting those who took_ _ **them**_ _away from him._

' _take my bike,' he told hagrid, receiving a confused look before hagrid began protesting, 'i won't need it anymore.'* sirius gave him a sad smile, 'get my godson there safely, yeah?'_

 _hagrid began walking towards the bike when sirius called him back, 'can i hold him? i want to say goodbye.'_

 _hagrid looked at him carefully and nodded, hesitantly placing harry in his arms._

 _harry cuddled closer to his godfather. 'harry james potter. be good, yeah?' harry opened his eyes, looking up at sirius. 'i'll see you again one day, harry. i hope you remember me. i hope you remember how much they loved you.' he kissed his godson's head, hugging him tight one more time before hagrid took him away. the next time he saw him was twelve years later._

 _sirius watched as they flew away on his bike. he watched as harry left the only home he had ever known._

 _sirius braced himself as he cautiously enter the house that had once been so full of life–especially given the circumstances. he entered, and he his already pale face turned a new set of white. upon entering, he was presented with the corpse of james. his brother. he wished he could pretend that james was sleeping, but james never was one for deep sleeping. he recalled lily teasing him james for watching her sleep rather than resting himself. james would drift off only to be awaken by the sound of harry or godric or on occasion lily._

 _his brother was on the stairs, alone. and already sirius was beginning to understand what happened._ _ **he**_ _found them. and james, james would never let anyone hurt lily or harry. but harry was alive. he walked over to his mate and shut his eyes._

' _now you can rest, jamie,' he picked him up and placed him gently on the ground, letting his hand ruffle his mates' hair–now that james no longer could._

 _he went up the stairs that led to harry's room. he stopped at the door, there lied lily evans–lily potter–dead. she was in front of harry's cot. of course she was. he picked her body up as well, carrying her down and laying her next to her husband, forcing her beautiful eyes to shut for the last time. he placed a kiss on her forehead, 'goodnight, lil.'_

 _nothing could tear apart the married couple, not any more._

 _he sat there next to their corpses, processing what had happened. how it could have happened. and it was peter. peter betrayed them. peter sold them out, and he had heard the rumors on his way here–voldemort killed them, voldemort was gone. but peter, peter wasn't dead. not yet, but he would be. he would pay for making him suspect remus–remus who sirius should have realised would never betray james. when did remus ever hide behind them? he would betray for causing sirius to trust him, for causing him to be responsible for the death of james and lily._

 _he got up, not knowing how long he had been sitting down in the darkness._

' _i'll avenge you,' he whispered to them. a look of hatred on his face as bitterly laughed at the fact that the rat turned out to really be a rat, a traitor, a spy. and they had befriended him._

 _he looked at the redhead girl–she was only twenty-one–and the boy who was no older than she was. he looked at the couple who would never get to watch their son grow up, who would never get to have all the children they had hoped to have. and because of this he swore an oath of vengeance against peter pettigrew._

 _because of him, today would always be the day of the dead._

–

 _he didn't sleep until he found peter._

 _he wouldn't sleep. he was doing this for them. peter had taken them away from him. he had taken away two of the only people who had ever cared about him. who cared about him and loved him. he had taken them away. and now sirius didn't care. he didn't care about what would happen to him next. he didn't care whether he lived or died. all sirius cared about was keeping his promise. he would kill peter pettigrew if it was the last thing he did. and peter would regret the day he decided to betray james and lily. he would regret the day he sold them out to voldemort. he would regret it once sirius had him where he wanted and made him beg for death._

 _it was broad daylight, on november the first when he did catch him._

' _peter,' he said coldly when he finally had him cornered in muggle london._

 _the rat began sobbing and, for a moment, sirius thought he would begin begging him for mercy. the frightful look on his face said as much._

 _but that wasn't what he did. 'lily and james, sirius! how could you?'* and he betrayed him again._

 _peter went for his wand, which sirius–in his unstable state–didn't even consider. he watched as peter cast a spell that was far past his limit, the next moment, he was gone. the only evidence of having been there was his bloodied robes, a dozen dead muggle, and a finger. along with that was the crater that was karmic revenge on peter for betraying lily and james and harry. for betraying their friendship._

 _he laughed. laughed because he was unstable from the loss of his friends. laughed because peter was gone. laughed because that was the only way he knew to cope with a world without lily and james potter._

 _so when the hit wizards came to take him away, he didn't fight it. he laughed like a maniac. maybe because he thought he deserved it, james and lily were dead because of him too._

–

 **AN: Happy Dia de los Muertos (although my professor said it's tomorrow, so i don't know anymore).**

 **Anyways, read and review because I actually started crying during this.**

 **Notes: the first asterisk is me saying, yes, I know Hagrid is only half-giant. The other three are short quotes taken from** _ **Prisoner of Azkaban**_ **where we first hear this story, or a brief version anyways.**


	14. november third

**disclaimer: i. own. nothing. broke. uni. student.**

 **enjoy and help me mourn sirius. hopefully if you didn't get my username, you get it now.**

–

(november third)

 _when he was eight, they held a dinner party for his birthday, celebrating the continuation of the black family name. 'toujours pur,' his parents would always say._

 _sirius hated it. he hated that he had to dress in his fanciest robes and chat amongst the other pure-blood snobs. all they did was repeat what they heard from their parents. he wished his cousin andromeda was coming, at least then he would have an intelligent companion. he supposed he had regulus. he would be fun if his parents weren't around._

 _–_

 _when he was ten, he was told to act like a black. but what does it mean to act like a black? all he knew was that he needed to protect reg. protect him from the wrath of his father, even if he was hurt in the process. all he knew was that his parents slept in different beds. all he knew was that he was expected to be someone he didn't want to be. all he knew is that blacks hurt people, or were hurt by people. and frankly, he didn't know which was worse._

 _'happy birthday, si,' his brother said as he handed him a slice of cake he had brought to his room. sirius had been punished by his parents again._

 _'thanks, reg.'_

 _so maybe not regulus. he was too innocent to hurt someone. he wouldn't let them damage him._

 _–_

 _when he turned twelve, he spent the day in the hospital wing with james, remus, and peter. remus was recovering from the flu. again. he repeatedly apologised to sirius for 'ruining his birthday,' but sirius didn't mind. james had even managed to convince madam pomfrey to get them hot chocolate and cake. james' argument had been that if it helped against dementors, then it should help fight the flu._

 _sirius had the feeling that james could convince anyone to do anything if he tried hard enough. james made him feel like he belonged, like he wasn't just a black. james made sure that two days later, when remus left the hospital wing, they were able to sneak out and have s'mores and hot chocolate in the quidditch pitch._

 _–_

 _when he was fourteen, he spent the morning cheering on his best mate from the quidditch stand. he cheered as james made another spectacular throw._

 _he shouted as he watched one of the gryffindor beaters, tom belch, throw the bludger towards regulus. it was at times like this where he felt like a traitor. how could he truly be a gryffindor when his blood was made of green and silver?_

 _he screamed as a bludger hit james. maybe his blood was green and silver, but his loyalties lied with james potter._

 _–_

 _when he was sixteen, he attacked a boy the muggle way for making fun of remus and peter. it didn't help that it was one of regulus' friends. one of the boys who would grow up to be just like their fathers and marry someone just like their mothers._

 _james and he spent an hour being lectured by mcgonagall about keeping their tempers and how barbaric it was to duel the muggle way. they spent an hour in detention that night, something they were quite used to at that point._

 _they didn't regret what they did. if anything, sirius would have gone for another had the professors not shown up. he refused to let anyone get away with hurting his mates. he can't save regulus, not anymore–but he'll keep trying for the time being–but he'll save them. he has to._

 _–_

 _when he was eighteen, he felt loved. he received presents from monty and emma who had adopted him as their second son when he was sixteen. he received a birthday card from them too, they wanted to celebrate his birthday during christmas break–even if he no longer lived with them._

 _it was a thursday. and they all went to class, but it was implied that the four boys would all go to hogsmeade tonight._

 _'bring evans with,' sirius told james as they walked to the great hall for breakfast. peter and remus had gone to the kitchen, he would later find out, in order to convince the house-elves to sing him happy birthday. it was peter's idea, and it was peter who had been able to convince them._

 _'i thought it was supposed to be us. it is your birthday after all,' he tried to play it cool, but sirius knew that james wanted lily there._

 _'i want my friends with me, and lily is my friend.' he nudged his mate lightly, even if she does lets you snog her.'_

 _james laughed, 'prat,' he uttered before ruffling his own hair._

 _but james was giddy the whole day, even when lily kissed sirius on the cheek and told him she'd be happy to come tonight._

 _when it was ten at night, they snuck out past curfew. peter and sirius took the cloak and trailed behind remus, lily, and james. the latter three argued that they didn't need the cloak because, if they were caught, they could always say they had some prefect duty to handle–unless it was mcgonagall of course._

 _he watched as james helped his girlfriend into the secret passage, holding her hand and making her laugh the entire time. he included the rest of them as well, making sure they knew he hadn't forgotten about them._

 _'i bet ten galleons they'll be married this time next year,' he whispered to remus and peter._

 _he saw peter analyse them, 'all right, i'll take it.'_

 _'you in, moony?'_

 _'i don't bet when i know i'll lose, i like a challenge,' sirius laughed._

 _'what's so funny, black,' the head girl asked him._

 _'your love life,' he teased her._

 _'oy,' james shouted, but there was a small smile on his face as he saw lily laugh._

 _'he's not wrong,' she admitted._

 _that was one of his happier birthdays, one of the ones that kept him a little sane in azkaban._

 _he remembered lily trying to outdrink him._

 _'a bit of a lightweight, aren't you, black?'_

 _'i'm not drunk yet, red,' he said as he took another swing._

 _'but you stopped drinking firewhisky, you're drinking the weak mead,' she pouted, her green eyes fluttering slightly._

 _'let's get you some water, lily,' james said trying to sober her up. the redhead shrugged him off, 'no,' she said slowly, 'i want to dance with pete.' she slid out the booth and was clumsily walking over to peter and remus who had gone to get their order._

 _sirius eyed james with a smirk, 'did your own girlfriend leave you for peter?'_

 _james was holding back a grin, 'what can i say? pete's charming.' sirius' doglike laugh was heard from tables away._

 _'thanks for inviting her, i know it meant a lot to her.' he hesitated for a moment before adding, 'and me.'_

 _'i meant what i said,' he looked over fondly at the girl who was drunk and still attempting to dance with their mate. her feet stepping on his. 'she's my friend too.'_

 _–_

 _when he was twenty-one, he spent the day with two of his best friends and his godson._

 _he watched as james held harry on his lap, bouncing him up and down as harry laughed and smiled._

 _sirius smiled down at him. his godson possessed james' mess of a hair, and lily's mesmerizing eyes. he was only three-months-old and already he was so loved._

 _'don't hog him, prongs,' he said, stretching his arms out for the boy in question. james kissed his son's head softly._

 _'be careful,' james warned him as he carefully placed him within his arms._

 _'you like me more than your dad, yeah?' the little boy giggled in his arms. 'yes, you do.' he tapped the boy's nose gently._

 _'who knew sirius black would be so good with kids,' a voice said as they approached. the baby's eyes immediately drifted toward her, just as his father's always did._

 _'don't get the wrong idea, evans, i'll always be a bachelor.'_

 _she laughed, 'and it's potter, sirius. james and i have been married for two years now.'_

 _'two wonderful years,' her husband said as he stood up to wrap his arms around her._

 _'mmm...i could have done worse,' she teased._

 _'only harry and the cat love me,' he said as he let go of his wife._

 _lily laughed at him, 'james, love, our cat hates you.'_

 _'lies!' he cried. 'godric loves me!'_

 _'you're such an idiot,' his wife said turning to face him, 'but i love you.'_

 _'i love you too,' he kissed her lips gently._

 _'and when you're older and you realise how both your parents are major dorks, you can come live with me.' harry tilted his head to the side as the cat came walking in, head held high._

 _'sirius is corporating our child against us, love,' james nuzzled into her neck, placing a small kiss there._

 _'it was bound to happen, although i suspected it would begin with firewhisky or helping him do something illegal first.'_

 _sirius laughed. 'his father and godfather are illegal animagi, lil. your son is going to be a trouble maker.'_

 _'especially if he gets his mother's tongue and her temper.'_

 _'i don't have a bad temper,' she glared at james._

 _'no, you don't,' he agreed, 'but when you hold things in, then you snap.'_

 _she pouted. 'you even scare me,' sirius added._

 _'give me my son before my temper to hex both of you wins,' lily took the baby who happily went into her awaiting arms._

 _'not fair, i just got him,' he pouted._

 _lily placed a loving kiss on her son's head, ignoring her friend's pout. 'have you been a good boy for daddy today, har?' the boy giggled, not understanding a single word she said. all harry knew was the smell of his mother. all he knew was being held by someone that loved him._

 _'i made you a birthday cake,' lily said as harry snuggled into her. 'i was hoping remus and peter could join us, but they got called in for the order today.'_

 _there was a moment of silence where no one dared to speak, 'let's have cake then. i'm sure it's delicious, my love.' james gave a kiss to her temple before dragging sirius with him to the kitchen. lily followed rolling her eyes at her boys. and sirius black was definitely one of her boys._

 _–_

 _when sirius was twenty-two, he spent his birthday in azkaban. three days prior, his best friends had died, and he had been betrayed by someone he thought was his friend. three days ago he lost everything–including the will to live. because what was a life worth when there was no james and lily potter._

 _when he was twenty-two, all he wanted to turn back time. because when he was twenty-two, he stopped believing he was worth saving. lily had once told him he was worth saving, but how could he be when he was the reason that they were dead?_

 _maybe he wasn't. maybe they were his punishment._

–

 **read. review. cry.**


	15. evans

**disclaimer: i own nothing but my own desires for more blackevans (what i call lily and sirius) friendship moments.**

 **special thanks to hermione-who on tumblr for beta reading.**

–

(seventh year)

 _lily evans was a special girl, sirius thought. she was beautiful, smart, and had most boys falling in love with her. that's what scared him, because what if james fell in love with her? what if he fell in love with her and ended up heartbroken?_

 _the pair of them had just begun dating, and while sirius wholeheartedly supported the relationship, he also feared for it. he didn't believe in true love, yet hadn't he seen it in fleamont and euphemia?_

 _but james was his brother, and sirius knew the way in which james put too much trust in others. he would give her his heart. he would trust her blindly if she told him how she felt about him, or how her feelings had progressed past the honeymoon phase, and sirius couldn't let james go into this stage of his relationship completely blind._

' _hey, evans,' he said as he approached her after potions. james and remus eyed him strangely–peter hadn't passed his potions o.w.l.s. 'can i talk to you for a moment?'_

 _she turned to james, as if asking him if it were safe. he didn't begrudge her for this. because while they were friends and spent a lot of quality time together, he had never_ _ **requested**_ _to see her alone._

 _james gave her a reassuring smile and gave her hand a brief squeeze._

' _i'll see you in class,' james reassured her._

 _and remus and he left lily to the figurative devil._

' _what did you want, sirius?' she asked a bit defensively._

' _you love him, don't you?' it wasn't a question, but rather an accusation._

' _yes, i love him,' there was no point in denying it. lily had always been upfront about how she felt. she wouldn't lie to him now. 'what's going on, sirius?' her eyes were searching his face for anything to explain his behaviour. there was none._

' _will you break him?' he asked, and he watched as her eyes darkened._

' _why would you ask that?' her voice was soft and vulnerable. yet he could clearly see that he had offended her. he hadn't meant to, but he needed to protect his best mate._

' _james is innocent, lily. he has never experienced what it is to be broken.' sirius looked at her, pleading with her to understand. 'he's my brother, i need to protect him.'_

' _i won't hurt him. i love him more than i ever thought i could, and the last thing i would want to do is hurt him.' she gently placed her hand on his shoulder._

 _he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, 'he's not like the rest of us, he thinks we need to be protected from the world. he doesn't realise we've been damaged for far too long to care. but i don't think he'd recover if he broke.'_

 _she gave him a sad smile, 'i want to protect him too. and i promise you, sirius black, i'll protect him as long as i live.'_

 _and he believed her._

 _he walked with her back to charms where she elected to sit next to her friend april. james sat behind her._

 _he played with his girlfriend's red hair for most of class, levitating it with his wand. the girl turned around in her seat, playfully glaring at the hazel-eyed boy, 'potter.'_

' _hullo, love,' his lips held a lovestruck smile as he gazed at her. lily grinned back at him, 'pay attention to flitwick.'_

' _you're prettier,' he whispered back, and he saw her struggle to stifle her laughter._

' _shut it, potter,' she mumbled as the professor called on her._

' _prongs?' sirius whispered as remus and peter began playing noughts and crosses._

' _yeah, padfoot?'_

' _do you love her?' he made his voice as low as he possible to avoid the girls from hearing._

' _yeah,' there was a blissful smile on his face which told sirius his friend was completely smitten with the head girl. ' i love her.'_

 _sirius gave a small laugh, a genuine one. 'my little prongsie's in love.' he wiped away a fake tear._

' _quiet, you git.' but sirius realised something as he saw his mate's gaze shift back to the girl in question. his best mate was growing up, and sirius would have to get used to it. but perhaps james being in love with lily evans wasn't the worse thing that could happen._

 _at the end of class, sirius noticed lily hold james back. he watched as lily nervously wrangled her hands together. he watched as james placed his hand on her cheek in an intimate gesture. He watched as lily took a deep breath before telling him something which sirius was too far away to hear. yet he suspected what it was as soon as he saw james' face light up before kissing her._

 _he decided to leave them alone. after all, they were both in good hands._

–

 **a.n: read, review, tell me how you feel?**


	16. murder

**disclaimer: i own nothing but my own tears at this concept.**

–

(alternate universe; october thirty-first, nineteen eighty-one)

 _he told her to run. he could hold voldemort off for a moment. a moment that could spare her. spare harry. if lily could only get him to harry before voldemort killed james. what james hadn't expected, however, was for voldemort not to bother killing him. he expected to die, he was willing to do so for his son and wife. yet it didn't make a difference in the end._

 _voldemort petrified him before continuing his way upstairs to where lily and harry were. to harry's bedroom where lily potter wept over her husband who she had assumed died when she heard his fall._

 _voldemort didn't speak as she began to plead with him to spare her child. he petrified her too–he didn't have time for silly games and to be forced to listen to the pleas of mortals. lily and james potter would serve to be examples of what happened to those who refused him. he would not have mercy with them. he would punish them for their rejection of him, for their disobedience._

 _the child who had been guarded by his mother looked up at him with brilliant green eyes, perhaps wondering why neither his mother nor father were coming to his rescue._

' _they think you can defeat me?' voldemort's voice caused the child to start crying, pleading for his mother or father._

 _voldemort gave him something better. with a flick of his wand, harry potter was dead._

 _what voldemort hadn't expected, however, was for the curse to not only hit the child, but hit himself as well._

 _the spell eventually wore off of james, who quickly grabbed his wand from where he had originally left it that night, he grabbed lily's wand from the kitchen as well. he climbed up the stairs, dreading what he would find it that room. he hadn't seen the demon come back down._

 _he opened the door to harry's bedroom. the bedroom they had spent weeks decorating once they found out the sex of their child. the room where lily and james came into every night and every morning. the room where lily had marked the size of harry's hand every month with a weird muggle substance called 'paint.'_

 _the room where he saw his wife coming slowly walking to their son's cot and picking him up._

' _lil,' his voice was soft, but he was scared to admit that he was terrified. terrified to find out how the body in her arms was._

' _jamie?' her voice was vulnerable, lost. yet there seemed to be a sense of relief in those eyes. a relief that he wasn't dead._

 _he walked towards her, a hand reaching to touch her face. to touch her and confirm that she was real._

' _james?' he saw the tears forming in her eyes, tears that he started wiping away. he ignored the bundle in her hands. he couldn't be dead if james ignored it. 'james, i think he's dead.'_

 _dead. but how could he be, james wanted to argue, but deep down he knew the truth. his son was dead._

 _he closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. letting the tears fall down his face as she began to sob, moving her face into his chest. 'he's dead, james, dead!'_

 _he couldn't say anything. what could he say to make this better? harry was dead. he was their hope, their reason for continuing to fight. and he was gone._

 _they sunk to the floor, crying in each other's arms with the corpse between them. that's all they could do._

 _dumbledore showed up that night, their home was ruined–both physically and emotionally. sirius was next. he explained to dumbledore how they had switched the secret keeper, how they had trusted peter. how peter betrayed them. yet all james felt was emptiness as he stroked his son's hair, emptiness as he kissed his son's forehead. emptiness as he held lily close to him, mumbling lies about how they would be all right._

 _parents shouldn't have to watch as their baby is put in a casket and lowered into the ground. a husband shouldn't have to hold their wife up to keep them from fainting at the sight of their child's corpse. a godfather shouldn't have to watch his godson be buried a few days after he turned twenty-two. a wife shouldn't have to hear the condolences from people who only cared that voldemort was gone not that her son was dead._

 _yet they did._

 _and they kept living their lives, kept loving and protecting one another, kept celebrating harry's birthday and celebrating the day he died. each year imagining what harry would have been like, what his favourite subject would have been._

' _happy birthday, har,' james said looking into the room in their new home that they had assigned as harry's._

' _happy fifth birthday,' lily whispered from behind him, still in his old quidditch jersey that she used as her sleepwear._

' _hullo, love,' he said softly._

' _james,' she said the four words that everyone hated hearing, 'we have to talk.'_

' _what about?' he asked slowly taking her hand in his and leading them into the living-room._

 _she sighed, 'i don't know if today's the right time to tell you.'_

' _is it bad news then,' he sat her in his lap, snuggling into her neck. he needed the comfort today. he needed to have lily close, to know she was okay. he took a deep breath, inhaling her floral smell in the process._

' _debatable,' she ran one of her hands gently through his hair._

' _what is it, lil?'_

 _she tilted his face up to look at her, 'i'm pregnant.'_

 _james didn't know how to feel. should he be happy for another child? sad at the reminder that harry would never get to know this new sibling?_

' _how do you feel?' he asked instead._

' _i don't know.' and he understood completely._

 _and so their daughter was born in may. they named her emma after james' mother euphemia. and their home once more held a beautiful child. a child with lily's red hair and james' hazel eyes._

' _she's beautiful,' sirius said. he tried not to let it show around strangers he met on the street, but he missed his godson everyday. here he knew he was safe. he could show his sadness to the only ones who felt just as he had. 'harry would have loved her.'_

 _lily and james were quiet for a moment as they looked at their daughter. 'yeah, he would have.'_

' _so emma lily potter,' remus said, 'quite a name.'_

' _yeah, she's named after the two strongest women i have ever known.' james kissed his wife gently on the head._

' _i love you,' lily said as she began to drift off to sleep, emma still in her arms._

' _i love you too.'_

 _they had another little boy two years later. both were loved so much by their parents. because if that's the one thing that harry showed them, it's that while love cannot overcome everything, it makes it more bearable. and loving their children was truly magical._

 _they didn't understand why their mother cried on hallowe'en or why their father would go quiet. they didn't understand why there was a room in their house with baby things that didn't belong to either of them and the only answer their parents gave was that it was 'harry's.' they didn't understand why strangers would tell their parents they were sorry. they didn't understand why their parents would send them to uncle sirius' or uncle remus' on july thirty-first, so they could spend some 'time alone' as their uncles referred to it as._

 _but one day they would. and one day they would realise what their parents had lost and that their brother was a hero. but until that day, they would keep on living._

–

 **a.n: so.. did you cry? i did. this was emotional for me. but this is my third update today. be proud of me. i'm now halfway through the prompts and the story. maybe a happy one is next but probably not. we'll see.**


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